So, if you've read the post right before this and you know me & Ryan at all, you are now saying to yourself "They're getting married in a CHURCH?!" I know, trust me, I feel the same way. I like to think Ryan & I are spiritual, rather then religious, people. God has not yet manifested in any way a convincing enough manner to prove to me he'd rather me be in church on a Sunday morning rather than, say, laying semi-conscious on the couch with my fiancé, or getting a few more minutes of sleep before visiting my grandmother or grandfather, or even watching really geeky shows on the History Channel. Having been brought up in the Catholic Church, I do believe some of the things the Church stands for are very noble and morally acceptable. I think there can be great beauty in its rituals. I also think it can be a mess of hypocrisy and often exhibits worse behavior than any corporate conglomerate big business. In my life I prefer to live my life by a morality of equal parts ancient mythology, Carl Jung, Joseph Campbell, Sesame Street, and bits and pieces of a lot of different religions, eastern and western. I think you have to build your own philosophy, and constantly refine it throughout your life. I think religion can be a welcoming community for many people, but it can so easily become a weapon on a large scale. (I don't think I need to furnish examples for anyone here.)
I have always wanted my cousin Guy, who is a priest, to perform my wedding ceremony, because I love Guy, and he's a great priest and a warm and loving person, and has always seemed to emulate for me all the good things that religion can be. I also always figured I'd get married outside somewhere, perhaps a beach...
Unfortunately, while I do not have to live with the Church on a daily basis, I DO have to live with my mother, and she is dead-set on the Church wedding. The one-two punch of tradition and grandeur are hard to argue her out of. It is amazing how quickly your "hypothetical wedding" goes out the window and people start REALLY SERIOUSLY having OPINIONS about everything you plan. Although it means next to nothing to us to have our wedding in the building of a Church, it means A LOT to many of our family members. So, I have capitulated, given up, thrown-in-the-towel. It's turned into too big a deal to too many people, and I don't have the energy to fight them all into an ugly civil-war style standoff. So A Church it is.***
However, we are still working on getting other traditions added throughout the day. I will be JUMPING OVER A BROOM, ok? Maybe even handfasted, candle-lighted, and Hava Negila'ed too. The good thing, and the reason I folded so easily, is that the Church is very close to the reception, and a very pretty church that I have attended Mass at many times over the summers, so it's not like a completely alien place to me. I hope you can all overlook MY hypocrisy...
***Guests will be warned to wear rubber-soled shoes to the Church for when the lightning strikes.
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