Now, on to important stuff I figured I’d get out of the way right at the start:
THE BRIDESMAID BILL OF RIGHTS (what I have so far, I’m still working on it)
1 – FREEDOM OF BLACK ATTIRE: you will be required to wear black. That’s it. Black dress. Black suit. Black toga. Black towel wrapped around your waist. If you’re a girl and you want to wear a black suit, that’s fine. If you’re a boy and you want to wear a black dress, well, go ahead, I dare you. All I ask is blackness. I don’t care if the fabrics match or any of that, but no hot pink sashes or crap like that. Just black. Well, 99% black. If you don’t have a black dress, well here’s a good excuse to get a nice sexy black dress. Marc – I have no idea what we’re doing for the boys on the other team, but if we rent them something, you can obviously do that too. Black shoes for everybody. Again, I am pretty sure the groomsdudes are doing black lo-top converse, so any of you ladies can do that as well. I am going to be in white lo-top cons for some, if not all, of the day, but I’ll probably be forced to wear heels for at least the aisle-walking part or my mom might skin me. Anyway, whatever the lovely Jen comes up with for our floral design will make us all match enough for me.
And speaking of skin.....
2 – FREEDOM OF TATTOO: everyone in my bridal party will be tattooed. Some of you obviously have a head start on that. I, your benevolent non-zilla bride, will allow fake tattoos for those scared of needles and long-term artistic committment, and will be organizing the ordering from makeup company that supplies the best fakes. We can put em on you the night before the wedding, and they’ll last just fine overnight. They’re supposed to last at least a week. I’ll take care of the painting on and all that. So you can all get excited and start looking, here is the link: Temptu
Ok I only have 2 articles in the Bill so far, but I’m working on a FREEDOM TO JUMP BACHELOR/BACHELORETTE PARTIES (for marc to be able to hang out with the boys too, and for kim & mandy to hang out with us, whatever we end up doing) and a FREEDOM TO GET AS DRUNK AS YOU WANT SO LONG AS YOU DON’T PUKE ON THE BRIDE OR GROOM. I think I’m going to give in a start a quickie blog to keep everyone up on the goings-on. (Editor's note: well, I guess I did get to that after all) Ryan, me & my dad are going to cape may to visit spots on April 13th, so more after that. Any ideas for bachelorette party? I am open to anything. I obviously don’t want to break anyone’s bank, but I do want to have a damn good time. And, we even have a bodyguard if he’s brave enough to come out with us! I AM open to ideas that stay in new york, as well as a trip thing. I am NOT open to wearing any necklaces, shirts, or accessories made of penises, that’s going in the soon-to-be-released BRIDE’S BILL OF RIGHTS. Consider yourselves warned.
Love,
The bride
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